One week ago today I started my yoga teacher training.
I am an introvert by nature, so I spent the better part of last weekend trying to overcome my desire to fade into the background and not have to be part of the open group discussions. With yoga training comes many hours of self reflection, group sharing, and complete openness. I thought to myself, if only I could hold a kettlebell right now, I would feel more confident. Or perhaps it’s not the kettlebell, but my own space, my own gym, that gives me confidence. Because why can I get up and teach classes all day without a problem, and yet I couldn’t talk openly in this group without a shaky voice and shifty eyes. Where is the disconnect?
I realized that I have a false sense of self esteem. I’ve always struggled with self esteem and body issues. But when I found something I was good at (kettlebell training) it sort of faded into the background. It’s the same when I’m talking passionately to a group about nutrition. I forget to be nervous and I just let the information flow. But when I get too much into my head, when I start to doubt what I’m saying, or doubt what I’m doing, fear gets the best of me.
I think this is what happened over the weekend. I let self doubt run the show. Can I really be a yoga instructor? Will I ever be able to do a headstand, let alone teach one? What style of yoga is most suited to me? Do I have to chant and OM in my classes? Do I look like a yoga teacher? So I took the next few days to really think about what my intentions were. What is it that I really want from this journey? And the only thing that kept popping up was to just be me. BE KRISTA. If that means no chanting, no OM’s, no chakra awareness, no lion’s breath, no complex highly advanced inversions, then that is OK! Because what I bring to the class will be true to who I am, and THAT is what will attract my tribe.
This is a lesson I have learned and forgotten many times. To be authentically YOU is the most important thing a person can accomplish. So this is my message today and always, just BE YOU. Your differences are what make you unique and special. Own them, and be proud.
I hope to continue to share my journey with you as I go through this training. And most importantly, I’m so excited to offer my services as a yoga instructor when that time comes! It will be the perfect addition to my kettlebell and nutrition coaching practices!
Take care readers, and BE WELL.